I was brought up and educated by people who took for granted that I
ought to conform, compete and succeed. I had no inclination to do any of
that but it took me a long time to realize what I should have been
doing instead. A better agenda would have been: change society and self.
I had some idea of self-change but it was distorted by the religious
indoctrination which was massively inconsistent: issues of religious
belief and practice are ultimately serious but don't take them too
seriously - unless you become a priest, in which case you are
compartmentalized and pigeonholed for the rest of your life. We were
told answers before we knew what the questions were.
Of
course, in zazen, we do not act on the self to change it. We are merely
aware of it. However, the transition from unawareness to awareness is
itself a change. We do not try to change ourselves but do in fact change
as a result of the practice. However, the change is usually gradual and
not externally measurable. Merely to talk about it is to invite the
reply that there is no discernible change and there is no need to deny
that.
Meanwhile, acting collectively to change society
is a matter of urgency. But we do this with others who agree that it is
necessary. We do not argue with those who meditate that they should
instead be changing society or vice versa. And it can take decades to
realize this. But life was not designed for our convenience. It merely
happened.
